"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn. '' -Gore Vidal
Isn't that a great quote? The most interesting people in life are those who know who they are and simply refuse to conform to the expectations that society has placed on the roles of age and gender.
I was recently telling a friend how I hate golf. I don't get it, really. All day long out there following the little white ball around. It bores me. I tried it, I tried to like it, but I simply hate it. This friend said he doesn't love it and was realizing, he doesn't even like it, yet he goes every weekend because his friends go. How many people are doing these type of things because they feel like they have to?
TV commercials and clothing ads suggest how you are supposed to spend your weekends, do you follow suit? Now I'm using golf as an example, but this can be anything. I you love golf, then do it in excess, but if you are fulfilling a pre-determined identity that has been dictated to you, stop-stop now.
Another example- a woman friend was telling me not long ago about how she avoids going to family dinners. There is this expectation for her to marry, have lots of kids and become mother of the year. That's not the lifestyle for her. She's a brilliant woman, successful, beautiful and so impressive, yet she goes to family functions and she is made to feel like she is a failure because she carries a Coach rather than a diaper bag. Why does this happen? Why do people feel the need to impose their agenda on others and worse yet, why do you allow someone else to question your life choices?
Refuse to conform, find yourself, and as Gore Vidal said in the quote above, be yourself and don't give a damn.
Have a great weekend.
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11 comments:
Well said. It's so hard not to let the pressures of the media and people around you tell you what you should do and/or think but the people that still manage to be themselves and not comform are the people that I have the most respect for. Isn't it harder to be fake than it is to just be true to yourself?
OMG, I love you for writing that. It is so hard sometimes. I know who I am and what I must do with my life, but I know that in the eyes of my mother, I have failed. She wants a daughter who bakes cookies and joins the PTA, but that's not me. No matter what I do, it will never be enough. This is who I am, even if I will do it alone.
Thank you for your thoughts, for the encouragement. God damn, I wish you were mine. I wish I had a man with such understanding.
Good night beautiful.
SiMmEr DoWn!!
Anonymous, that was a little insensitive of you. Art Girl, that was brave to open up like that. What you describe isn't uncommon. Many girls give up their dreams to join the ranks and become what society expects of them. Barefoot, pregnant and becoming Dolly Madison is a role of the past. You choose what you want out of life and don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are. WHen they do that, they are expressing their own disappointments in themselves. You remind them of what they wanted and gave up.
Well stated Lovebug. There's nothing wrong with ackowledging James for his understanding and sensitivity towards gender roles. It's rare to hear a man speak like that and it's refreshing.
I do agree with you art girl because i have been in a similar situation. I was jokingly saying simmer down about Jim.
My sister married a man who first tried to turn her into his mother. It later became abusive. She has moved on now and has put that behind her.
The moral of the story is that you can't change people. If your mate's thoughts on women is different than yours, then it's not going to work out.
ShOuLd you have to sacrifice your
PASSION for the things you want because you think thats the right thing to do? Is it WoRtH It? In the EnD the only person your hurting is YOURSELF, YOU are the ONLY one that can CrEaTe your own HaPpInEsS. Life is TOO short to live a LiE and worry about what EVERYONE else thinks. If you WaIt TOO long it could PaSs you by... THEN WHAT???
I didn't know I would create such a stir!
It's not that you CrEaTeD a StIr..I was just JoKiNg..and I GuEsS u took it the wrong way..Yes Jim is a VeRy SmArT AnD TaLeNtEd GuY...I was SiMpLy JoKiNg SoOo SiMmEr DoWn..LOL..And GoOd LuCk 2 U:)
Great quote Mr. Vidal....these are some words to live by. If someone loves and supports you then they need to love everything about you no matter what. Do what means the most to you. Never have regrets! Eventhough sometimes people can't understand a decision we make, make it anyway...run with it. Then, as you prosper people will pretend that they want to be your best friend or better yet, was your so-called best friend all along...now they're jealous and wishing to be like you. Art Girl keep living your dream, I am sorry you mother doesn't agree with your decision in life. Just remember you are not alone. Jimmy, once again you blew my mind with your thoughts for the day. Keep it coming!
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