A friend was just telling me how she had to visit a funeral home. That got me thinking about how I hate the rituals we observe when someone dies. It's a primitive custom to have the body on display, isn't it? I don't want people coming to look at my dead body! Seriously, it's morbid and I'm too vain to consider what I would look like.
I think we need to change that custom. It should be a celebration of the person's life, it should be upbeat. Here's what I'm thinking - People would come to an art gallery for a reception with wine and cheese, just like an opening (I guess this is more of a closing reception!). There would be acid jazz playing, a retrospective collection of art would appear on the walls and it would be Fabulous. My body wouldn't have to be there! Hang a photo on the wall, maybe have a 5 minute video loop- no casket though. The after party would take place at a night club with a wicked dj and plenty of vodka. I wonder if a vodka company would sponsor my after party? After Party is a much better name than 'a wake', isn't it?
Anyway, when my college mentor and good friend Martha Fairchild passed away, I organized the art show that we planned together and never had the opportunity to exhibit. The show was a tribute to her- it was a great opening reception, there was good press coverage and it was elbow to elbow on both floors of the gallery. Everyone talked about how wonderful she was all evening and looked at her art on the walls as they sipped their wine.
Everyone should have a tribute party rather than a viewing. This could change the way people think about death, or more importantly, the way people think about life.
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5 comments:
Great post my friend. That would be awesome if people would change their perspective on life and death.
I AGREE....I WAS DEVASTATED AS A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL WHEN MY FIRST EVER FUNERAL VIEWING THAT I REMEMBER VIVIDLY WAS THAT OF MY PERFECTLY, UN-PERFECT MOTHER. WHAT A TERRIBLE DISPLAY OF HER BEAUTIFUL LIFE. TO THIS DAY I AM TERRIBLY PETRIFIED OF FUNERAL HOMES AND DEATH. AS A NURSE I HAVE DEALT WITH DEATH AND DYING A LOT, BUT NOTHING HITS HOME QUITE LIKE YOUR MOTHER. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW FINALITY AND CLOSURE ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO WANTING TO LOOK IN A CASKET AND THE PERSON INSIDE. UNFORTUNATELY, THAT IS ONE OF A HANDFUL OF MEMORIES THAT I HAVE OF MY MOTHER. LIKE THE ILLNESS OR REASON SOMEONE DIES ISN'T BAD ENOUGH.....THEY TRY TO MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE THEY ALWAYS HAVE AND YOUR FRIENDS TELL YOU THAT HE OR SHE IS JUST "SLEEPING". IF I LOOKED THAT BAD SLEEPING I WOULD HATE TO BE MY HUSBAND WHO HAS TO WAKE UP NEXT TO ME EVERY MORNING! AND WHY "WAKES" WHAT ARE WE WAKING.....THE DEAD! AFTER PARTIES WOULD BE AWESOME. BURN ME, THROW ME IN A PRETTY CONTAINER AND TAKE ME SOMEWHERE PEACEFUL. I WOULD CELEBRATE MY LIFE IN THE NON-EXISTENT ED HARDY MUSEUM WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I AM TRULY FACINATED BY CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER. INSTEAD OF SPENDING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME LOOK HUMAN AND BURYING ME IN THE COLD GROUND, SPEND THOUSANDS AND BUY MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY $100 DOLLAR ED HARDY T-SHIRTS, SINCE I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT WOULD SPEND $100 ON ONE ED HARDY T-SHIRT. OH...YEAH AND DON'T FORGET THE REISLING AND MUNCHIES. CELEBRATE ME, LAUGH ABOUT ME, TELL STORIES ABOUT MY LIFE, NOT HOW HORRIBLE MY DEATH WAS. I LIKE IT, IN FACT I LOVE IT. JIMMY, I KNEW I LIKED YOU A LONG TIME AGO IN HIGH SCHOOL. HOWEVER, I WAS TOO YOUNG AND STUPID TO REALIZE WHY. YOU HAVE SUCH A FACINATING MIND AND TAKE ON LIFE. I WISH I STILL GOT TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY IN SCHOOL.
Thank you for the very long comment. By the way- I know who you are Anonymous!
It's hard to leave a post after such a heartfelt comment. It would be wonderful to see the funeral routine revolutionized tho.
Yes- fascinating mind, but also one of the hottest guys alive. I didn't like art before I found this site!
I would have to agree with James' view on this one! I had just recently (51/2 years now) burried my son, daughter in law and granddaughter and it is very disturbing to see them lifeless. Yes it should be a celebration of their lives!
That is what my Husband wants to have done: a big huge party to celebrate his life. I think that is what I want too. May be like James said in a nice gallery with a good photo or video....
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